Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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