I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
