Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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