Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
