Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
