K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
