Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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