Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize