Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize