Christians are straight up FREAKS
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
