Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
