Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
