Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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