he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize