You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
