Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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