that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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