The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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