Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
