sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
