Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
