And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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