You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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