Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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