Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
