hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
