Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
