now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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