those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
