We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
