Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
