new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
