$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
