You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
