I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
