Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
