He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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