Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
