I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
