drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
