She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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