Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
