wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
