Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
whose parrot is this?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
