so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
