____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
