why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
