lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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