i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
