I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
