i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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