I looked at my own cervix.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My life is pants optional.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
