I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
