hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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