going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
