So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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