i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Dick very happy bro
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
