Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
