That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
